It’s been a year since Bailey graduated from an elite Perth private school, and he’s finally breaking free from the constraints of his privileged upbringing. To assert his individuality, Bailey joined the ranks of fellow private school alumni by growing a faux-mullet.
We caught up with Bailey, who proudly proclaimed that his new hairstyle had instantly connected him with the common man. “I had a tradie over to our mansion, and my mum was struggling with his Lynx body spray,” Bailey explained. “So, I decided to test out my new look. We spoke man to man, and it was a huge success!”
Intrigued by Bailey’s bold claim, we tracked down the tradie for his side of the story. Without hesitation, he shared his candid thoughts: “That spoiled kid kept interrupting my work, spouting nonsense about fair pay for fair work. I bit my tongue, though – the job paid well.”
Bailey’s perception of the encounter starkly contrasted with the tradie’s reality. His misinterpretation of the tradie’s forced politeness only reinforced his delusion that he’d transcended his privileged roots.
We spoke to one of Bailey’s former classmates, who offered a refreshing dose of honesty: “At the pub, Bailey loves to stand next to tradies and groan as he stretches his back, saying, ‘Rough day on the tools, lads?’ They want to knock him out, especially with that student family signet ring on his finger.”
Bailey’s quest for authenticity raises questions about the blurred lines between genuine connection and pretentious posturing. Will he ever truly understand the world beyond his gilded bubble? Only time will tell.
