I had grown accustomed to my mother-in-law, Denise’s, subtle jabs and passive-aggressive behavior. But on one particular evening, she took it to a new level. As we sat down for dinner, she suddenly received a “work call” that she couldn’t ignore. Or so she claimed.
As she stepped away from the table, phone pressed to her ear, I noticed something peculiar. Her front camera was open, and there was no call screen or timer running. It was clear that she had faked the call to avoid dinner with us.
I could have called her out on the spot, but I decided to take a different approach. I smiled sweetly and asked her to stay, saying we had made her favorite dish. Denise hesitated, knowing she had been caught, but she was committed to the lie.
After dinner, I casually mentioned the incident to my husband, Julian. He was surprised and a bit amused by his mother’s antics. We both wondered why she felt the need to fake a call instead of just being honest about not wanting to spend time with us.
A week later, Julian invited Denise over for dinner again. This time, we were prepared for her excuse. Sure enough, just as we were about to sit down, her phone “rang” again. But instead of falling for it, we called her bluff. We told her we’d wait for her to finish her call, and she was forced to admit her deception.
As we sat down to eat, Denise opened up about her feelings. She admitted that she was struggling to adjust to our marriage and felt like she was losing her son. I realized that her behavior wasn’t just about being difficult; it was about feeling left behind.
In that moment, I felt a pang of empathy for Denise. I reached out and took her hand, telling her that she was welcome in our home and that we wanted to spend time with her. It was a small gesture, but it marked a turning point in our relationship.
From that day on, Denise made an effort to be more genuine and open with us. She still had her moments, but we were able to communicate more effectively and avoid misunderstandings.
Looking back, I realize that Denise’s deception was a cry for help. She was afraid of being replaced and left behind, and she didn’t know how to express those feelings. By calling her out on her behavior and showing her empathy, we were able to break down the barriers between us and build a stronger relationship.
Sometimes, people act out because they’re afraid of being hurt or rejected. By responding with kindness and understanding, we can create a safe space for them to open up and connect with us on a deeper level.
