My marriage used to be full of love and fun, but as time went on, it turned into a battleground of needs and wants. I felt like I was losing myself because my husband and son treated me like a helper. I chose to stand up one day and change the course of our lives for good.
As a steamfitter, I had a good job where I made good money and was in charge of other workers. My job forced me to work out of town, but it paid well, gave us a good life, and helped us save money for the future. I thought things were fine between me and my husband Ben, but I had no idea they were going to get worse.
Ben’s behaviour changed in small ways at first. He started to scold me for not doing enough jobs around the house, even though I was very busy. He would make mistakes and expect me to clean them up. He also liked to sit on the couch and do nothing, leaving me to do everything. But what hurt me the most was when our son Terry started acting like him. I didn’t want my son to think it was okay to be rude to women as he grew up.
Terry telling me it was my job to clean up after dinner was the last blow. I was mad at him and told him to say sorry and clean up. But he didn’t seem to care. He said that his father had told him that they would find another woman to live with them if I didn’t do it. That’s when I knew I had to stand up for myself and let them know I would no longer be a worker.
I got my things together and left. I was going to my friend Natalie’s house and then on vacation with her. I needed some time and room to decide what I should do next. I didn’t answer Ben’s calls for a week, leaving him to wonder what he did wrong. It wasn’t until two weeks later, when Ben and Terry came to my mom’s house on their knees pleading for forgiveness that I realised what I had done.
Things changed after that day. As soon as Ben and Terry started helping around the house, it went from being a stressful place to a calm place. Their kids learned that I was more than just a housekeeper and that they should love and honour me. Respect for each other helped us get back together, and my husband and son learned that they could not live without me.
I now understand that some people need to be shown their place in order to truly understand what it means to respect others. Making the choice to leave was hard, but it was the right thing to do. My family and I are both happy and stronger now. There are big changes that can happen when you stand up for yourself, even when it’s hard. If something like this happens to you, don’t be afraid to take charge of your life. It’s okay to step away from people sometimes to show them that you earn it.
In the end, my journey taught me how important it is to love and respect others. We build a better base for the people we love when we stand up for ourselves. An important lesson I’ll never forget is that a happy home is one where everyone works together to do their part. I want to show you that it’s never too late to change things and make your life and the lives of those around you better.
