For professionals who deal with death, maintaining composure in strange and sensitive situations is part of the job. But even the most seasoned mortician can have a day that goes completely off the rails. Bob learned this lesson the hard way when he returned to his wife with a fresh and painful black eye. Curious about the story behind his injury, she listened as Bob recounted the series of events that led to his unfortunate shiner.
The day’s trouble started with a routine call to a hotel where a guest had died. The manager warned Bob of an unusual complication: due to a persistent and substantial erection, the staff had been unable to secure the body in a bag for removal. It was a delicate problem that required a specialist’s touch. Bob headed upstairs, prepared to handle the situation with the dignity and practicality his profession demanded.
Upon entering the room, Bob confirmed the manager’s report. There lay a sizable naked man, presenting the exact physical obstacle he had been briefed on. Focusing on the task, Bob decided the most straightforward solution was to manually adjust the erection, bending it to allow the body to be placed flat in the bag. He took a firm, two-handed grip and applied pressure, intending to correct the issue with clinical efficiency.
His wife expressed her sympathy for such a bizarre and difficult professional challenge. Yet, the mystery of the black eye remained unsolved. If he was dealing with a deceased person, how did he end up with a fist-shaped mark on his face? Bob’s explanation was brutally simple and hilariously damning. In a monumental lapse of attention, he had not been in the correct room. The man he had so clinically attempted to “adjust” was not only alive but was rightfully horrified by the undertaker’s sudden and invasive actions. The swift punch to Bob’s eye was the inevitable and understandable consequence of his catastrophic mistake.
